The Explosive Alchemist
by orlha
Summary: [Oneshot] Based on an OVA of an unnamed Alchemist. This is a spin off what the unnamed Alchemist could have been and the joke about their titles. Fullmetal and Flame Alchemist were certainly one of the better titles out there. Imagine being titled Blossoming Flower Alchemist and you're a guy. Oh the horror!


The Explosive Alchemist

A/N: Well this is an alchemist based on one of the OVAs. Remember the unnamed alchemist in Alchemists vs Homunculi? Haha, this story is a spin off that. A one-shot, but I was thinking what would his/her title be? So I thought, Explosive Alchemist! Not literally Explosive but because she can't control her powers too well and always over does things, aka the part where she almost brought the roof down when Mustang commands her to use her powers. I'm sure they wouldn't call her Unruly Alchemist or Wild Alchemist so I stuck gave her a dual reason name. Seeing that people generally don't become state alchemist at a young age, I gave her something in the middle. Not too old and not too young. Also I wanted to make fun of the possible titles and how they got it. I'm sure if FMA was a real place, there's bound to be awful titles as well as awesome ones. Imagine that, you've just became an alchemist only to be awarded Blooming Rose Alchemist and you're a guy. People's going to call you Rose or Blooming or Blooming Rose Alchemist. That's going to be hell embarrassing! They might even scheme to get a particular title if they're strong enough. I know I skipped some parts in the short OVA.

* * *

A probationary state alchemist? She looked at the letter in disbelief. Lottie wasn't sure if she was happy the fact that she passed the notoriously hard state alchemist test at the age of 22 or that she was upset at the word probationary. That Fullmetal alchemist certainly didn't get a probationary when he passed his. Did she barely pass? She glared at the letter, her green eyes taking on a hard look. 22 wasn't a bad age to be awarded pass the state alchemist test. There were few that had been awarded younger than her. In fact the number that passed before her age could be counted on a single hand: Five exactly.

Fullmetal Alchemist, Flame Alchemist, Winding stone Alchemist, Tempest Alchemist and Shining Alchemist.

Her alchemist name wasn't too shabby as well. "Explosive Alchemist," she said slowly as though savouring it. At least it was better than some of the titles out there. Golden Needle alchemist for one was a terrible title. She had the opportunity to meet the alchemist and he certainly hated it to the point of ordering people to call him Needle or Gold. She felt sorry for him.

"The alchemy you display in your practical will decide your alchemist title. Be very careful what you pick," Needle pointed to the 40 year old man that had just shuffled into the mess hall. "He got Blossoming Alchemist because he made the whole examination hall break out in red flowers." He shuddered in horror at the worse titles he could have been given.

Explosive Alchemist was certainly one of the better ones given the fact that she had reduced the examination hall to dust. She shook herself out of her thoughts, readying herself for the lecture that King Bradley had mentioned. She was going to ace this probationary period and become officially Explosive Alchemist. Tapping the mirror lightly with her fist, she smirked at her reflection.

"Let's go Lottie."

She swung out of her new dorm room, deftly weaving through the morning chaos. The chaos reminded her of her old apartment. It was always packed with people coming in and out at almost all hours of the day. Having not stayed long enough in her school, she never really did experience how school dormitories were like. Her best friend, Alice had often described it as chaos and noise. She supposed if she had stayed long enough at her school, the dormitories would have been like this. Lottie found herself rather excited at that prospect of sharing the chaos or rather, being part of the chaos instead of watching it. Her parents had pulled her out of school after she was twelve. There was never enough money to go around so each of her siblings had gotten their fair share of basic education either from the school or from her. She had a job at the library in exchange for the freedom to read any books there and for a tiny pay that was pooled with the rest of her siblings to pay for their living expenses. That was how she learnt her alchemy. She had read the book "Introduction to Alchemy" to death after the library owner had taken it off the shelf to be replaced. That was also how she had the brilliant idea of becoming a state alchemist. The attractive pay and the permission to read the books in the first library just watered her mouth. With her pay, all her siblings would be able to go back to school and have a chance to be something greater. Not that the permission to read the first library books or that Roy Mustang was her hero had nothing to do with her choice.

She marched down the hallways, her jaw tightening as she stopped in front of the designated door. What was Colonel Roy Mustang going to be like? Was he as handsome as they described him to be? Her questions brought up the unbidden image of Mustang as she was walking towards the examination hall. It had been a brief glance and could not help but gawk. Never in her 22 years of her life had she expected to be placed under the command of someone she had looked up to. Well 12 years to be exact since she only started learning alchemy when she was 10.

"Are you going to stare at the door the whole day or are you getting in?"

She turned, startled. A blond haired soldier stared at her with a rather grumpy look. "Don't even ask why I'm doing this lecture instead of Colonel. Name's Jean Havoc by the way."

He reached past her and pushed the door open. "Ladies first."

She hid a smirk, plopping herself down on the first row. Looks like chivalry isn't dead, even if she had been standing in front of the door thinking and clearly blocking.

"You're Explosive Alchemist right? Well we're going to wait for another one before we start. Divergence Alchemist," he said, reading the name off a paper.

Divergence Alchemist? Holy crap! That's a freaking awesome title. Lottie felt her heart twinge in jealousy. What on earth had he displayed to get that name? Divergence: the total amount of flux escaping an infinitesimal volume at a point in a vector field, as the net flow of air from a given region. Branching out, separation, radiation. They were all possibilities. He must have made some incredible finding to achieve his title. Was it the manipulation in particles or energy or perhaps the speciality in separation of particles? She had read about the separation of semi-atomic particles in the books. It was mind-boggling and fascinating at the same time. Almost tempted to hurry home and re-read the novels on sub-atomic particles, she sank in her seat in resignation that she had to be here. Divergence Alchemist would here to discuss what exactly he did to achieve that title anyway.

He was an unenthusiastic as she was about the lecture. If Lieutenant found out he skipped it, he would be very dead. He eyed the red-headed girl in the seat before him. At least she wasn't bad on the eyes. She was actually quite pretty, he corrected himself after taking a better look at her. Her nose was small with delicate cheekbones accentuating her doe eyes. Not to mention her red hair tumbled down slightly pass her shoulders like a curtain seemed to emphasize and draw out her light skin. Not as pretty as Mara but still- Havoc nearly kicked himself for thinking about Mara. Mara probably enjoyed her date with Boss. He sighed, eyeing the door as it swung open again. Not the alchemist but a sergeant hurrying down the lecture hall with a note. Divergence Alchemist was supposed to be someone really special considering he had been accepted with a private practical instead of one in the examination hall. Chief might even find him interesting when he popped by the office again. Might as well get over and done with this.

"Looks like Divergence isn't going to be here today," Havoc drawled. The sergeant that passed the note scampered out.

"Nooo!" She groaned. "I was looking forward to meeting him!"

* * *

Havoc was certainly not expecting an alert alarm going off in the middle of the second lecture. Truth to be told, he was rather mixed about it. It was a relief to be interrupted while doing something absurdly boring but to be interrupted by an alert alarm. That was almost worse than being absurdly bored. At least being absurdly bored meant you would definitely be going home tonight. He watched her from the other end of the truck. Her face was the model expression of insouciance but he could feel the mix of excitement and anxiousness wafting from her.

"It shouldn't be too bad," he said. That was all he could promise. Things could get pretty bad seeing that he had landed three weeks in a hospital more than once.

She smiled weakly at him. "Just _shouldn't be too bad_? It must be pretty bad sometimes in that case."

Explosive was sharper than Havoc expected. He shouldn't have underestimated her even if she was rather green on the sides. After all she was just a little older than boss when he got his certification. Havoc puffed the remains of his cigarette. "There's always ways for things to go. Can't promise something I'm not certain of."

"And this is something you're certainly not certain of," she teased slightly, her voice belying the churning of her stomach. She was not sure if she was so nervous because it was her first mission or because she might get injured or die. Colonel Mustang had not minced his words at the briefing. He was not a man known to do so to begin with. It was bad enough that her mother and her eldest brother had worried incessantly about her ever since she had gotten her letter. After this, they were most certainly going to talk non-stop about it.

Havoc rapped her head lightly as he got down. "Relax, relax!"

She followed behind them, bringing the rear up with another soldier. A loud roar came from the front. She could hear someone yelling "DUCK!"

_Duck?!_

She was pulled aside in time to see a blast of water rush through the front doors. The soldiers that were hit by it didn't seem injured, apart from being wet and dazed. The soldier that had pulled her aside pushed her forward as he joined the Lieutenant Hawkeye in shooting the weird water monster. "Hurry! Colonel will need your help!"

'_Is that a freaking Homunculus?! I thought they didn't exist!_' Lottie ran down the hallways, trying to keep up with Mustang's long legs. For a man who sat behind the desk half the time, he sure could run. She gripped the side of the wall gasping for air. Her lungs were burning and it felt like her legs were starting to cramp. Sucking in a deep breath, she hurried down the hallway just in time to see Mustang disappearing through large mahogany doors. Not just him, but the rest of her senior alchemists were there all in deep fighting. She pulled herself back in time, barely dodging Lust's nails. She felt the heat wash over her as Mustang snapped one after another, his fire chasing after the quickly bouncing Gluttony. They were too fast for her to calculate the alchemic reactions. How Mustang and her seniors did it in mid battle was beyond her imagination. Although it might be partial because their equations were not that quite ever-changing, her alchemy was based on her target's mass rather that its environment.

To her right, Havoc and Hawkeye were emptying their guns into the homunculus called Wrath. It didn't seem to do much effect.

"What's the matter!" Mustang spied her hiding behind the pillar. "What are you waiting for!? Show us your alchemy!"

Crap. She would just have to wing it. Raising her hand with the ring on, she made a rough calculation, feeding the alchemy circle with an appropriate amount of energy. '_Please don't let me screw this up._' The green large circles that spread into the air told her otherwise.

"They sure named you well," Havoc sighed after they had all pulled themselves out.

"A sense of irony if you think about it," Mustang snorted. "I wasn't present at the examination, but I heard of the beautiful alchemist that reduced the hall to dust. I couldn't resist requesting you to be assigned to my team."

He requested me to be assigned to his team? Lottie felt her face heat up from his statement.

"Boss! Stop hitting on her! You already have Mara!"

"Well, now that we have Lottie-"

They heard a distinct and ominous click right behind them. Hawkeye who had just finished checking her gun was standing behind them, her gun cocked. "Colonel, should I remind you of the fraternization laws?"

Lottie would have never imagined the Colonel Mustang's face blanch into that shade of white. He coughed awkward, as though trying to regain control on the situation. "Anyway I officially welcome you to the team, Explosive Alchemist," he stretched out a dusty hand with a half smirk on his face.


End file.
